Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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