woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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