I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
