I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
