Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
