Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
