My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
