Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize