help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
