he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
