Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
