we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
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