once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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