The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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