I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
