I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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