Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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