I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
