I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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