So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
