I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
