When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
wow bdsm is so cute
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