theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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