I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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