Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
