i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
These tits shall not be calmed
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
