what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
