You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
