did you get engaged???
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
