i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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