the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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