I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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