we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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