this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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