what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
