rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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