his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We left the knife in your bed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
