I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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