i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
