I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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