I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
3 2 1 whiskey
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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