The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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