i jhust puked up my retainher.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
