I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
