Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
