ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
