Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
