GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
