I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
