Don't make out with my wife yet
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
