I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if only i could text you this smell
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
