the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
