She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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