To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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