So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
