He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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