Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
