i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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